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The Robots Will Kill Us All (album)

by Boy Meets Robot

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Might Be Alon
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Might Be Alon I just love songs about Blenderbump Campervan Favorite track: My Baby's in Love with Benedict Cumberbatch.
AspenJag
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AspenJag An awesome album with excellent twists in lyrics and each song is different from each other. Side-Scrolling Hero got me and it's an awesome song. Along with Social Justice Warrior, Boy Meets Robot is probably better than most soundcloud rappers out there. Favorite track: Side-Scrolling Hero (feat. Mega Ran).
mtowne
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mtowne I watched this grow up on soundcloud. Finally got around to buying it.

If you grew up listening to ska and became a chiptune fan (a background that is WEIRDLY common) then this album is for you. Favorite track: The Robots Will Kill Us All.
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1.
This Starbucks doesn’t have WiFi. Your latte doesn’t have enough foam. And you’re starting to get angry, ‘cause an OS update just crashed your phone. But there’s no need to worry. Your troubles will melt away. When you’re staring down the barrel Of an evil robot's laser death ray. Drones are flying in the skies. Targeting you with soulless eyes. And no one will hear your cries. ‘Cause the robots will kill us all, So there’s no use hiding in that shopping mall, And you’ll be first against the wall, When the robots, kill us all. Sea levels are rising. Animals are going extinct. And a couple billion people, Are living in poverty. But when Skynet goes active and starts the thermonuclear war. There won’t be anyone left to care about those problems anymore. Drones are flying in the skies. Targeting you with soulless eyes. And no one will hear your cries. ‘Cause the robots will kill us all, So there’s no use hiding in that shopping mall, And you’ll be first against the wall, When the robots, kill us all.
2.
I walk up to you at the bar but I don’t know what to say. You look at me and roll your eyes, then just laugh and walk away. Now, I know I’m not the kind of guy, you think you want to date. But, in the future I’ll find a way for us to communicate. When we’re uploaded to computers and we leave this meat behind, We will forget about our bodies and you’ll see me for my mind. And in the singularity, you will be in love with me. Someday we will be together in virtual reality. And in the singularity, you will be in love with me. When our lives are digitized you'll see that this is how it’s supposed to be. I’ll hold your hand as we walk together down a pixelated beach. Then I’ll fly you to another world There’s no star that we can’t reach. But I'm sorry I have to kidnap you and put you in my machine. So that I can become the man of your dreams. When we’re uploaded to computers and we leave this meat behind, We will forget about our bodies and you’ll see me for my mind. And in the singularity, you will be in love with me. Someday we will be together in virtual reality. And in the singularity, you will be in love with me. When our lives are digitized you'll see that this is how it’s supposed to be. And we’ll share each other’s thoughts. No secrets will be lost. Just please don’t check browser history. ‘Cause I think your avatar is the most beautiful by far. But could she be a little thinner? I love you babe, but I don’t like you interfacing with other guys. Don't you appreciate how I saved you? Yeah I’m your hero and you’re my prize. But you say, "I’m not just some achievement, your princess is in another castle. But maybe you will find someone if you stop being such an asshole." So in the singularity, you won’t be in love with me. Maybe it’s not about my looks maybe it’s just my personality. Why in the singularity, you won’t be in love with me. When our lives are digitized I’ll see that this is how it’s supposed to be.
3.
Running to the right, I’m running to the right, Running to the right, I just gotta keep on running to the right now. One day I woke up, and I started running. My legs are pumping, fireballs a-gunnin'. I’m gonna fight my way to your evil lair, all your minions don’t scare me. And when I stomp my boot down on your face, you will taste my victory. I’ve gotta find a power-up, Don’t want to miss my next jump, ‘Cause I just used my last 1-up, And all your mini-bosses better watch out for me. ‘Cause I’m a side-scrolling hero. Can’t let my time get to zero. And eating fungus makes me grow. ‘Cause I’m a side-scrolling hero. I just gotta keep on running to the right now. Now don’t ask me, about my motivation. I don't know how, I got in this situation. So if you’re stuck on a level and you keep on running, the same direction every day, You better glitch yourself out of that trap, there’s gotta be a better way. I’ve gotta find a power-up, Don’t want to miss my next jump, ‘Cause I just used my last 1-up, And all your mini-bosses better watch out for me. ‘Cause I’m a side-scrolling hero. Can’t let my time get to zero. And eating fungus makes me grow. ‘Cause I’m a side-scrolling hero. I just gotta keep on running to the right now. Jogging left to right, sudden death in sight but not tonight. Three lives in two dimensions. Evil henchman got cruel intentions. But they're chess pawns. Watch 'em get stepped on. Get gone I hope you don't respawn. Score is high and patience low, know it's a party I hate to go. 'Cause it feels like I'm stuck on a treadmill. Any motion's cool don't want to stand still. Need a break from the monotony of all of the corporate monopoly Possibly part tragedy and part comedy. As I hold down B to dash Trying to leave the past on this beaten path. And the timer's tickin', bad guys gunnin'. I ain't here for nothing man I gotta keep runnin'. I’ve gotta find a power-up, Don’t want to miss my next jump, ‘Cause I just used my last 1-up, And all your mini-bosses better watch out for me. ‘Cause I’m a side-scrolling hero. Can’t let my time get to zero. Somebody buy me a beer-o. ‘Cause I’m a your side-scrolling hero. I just gotta keep on running. Mario’s running. Sonic’s running. Mega Man’s running. Samus she’s a-running. Bonk is running. Alex Kidd is running. Shovel Knight’s running. We just gotta keep on running to the right.
4.
Well I come home late, but I’m excited to see my sweet, sweet darling, just waiting for me. I look around, oh where can she be? Just sitting on the couch, Sherlock on the TV. I say, “hey pretty baby can I cuddle up to you? And then a little later there’s something we oughta do.” She says, “please be quiet, I don’t want to miss this. I think Sherlock and Watson are finally gonna kiss.” My baby’s in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. Wants to go to bed with Cummerbund Bandersnatch. Gonna run away with Bandicoot Chowder-pants. Now what am I going to do? So we watch some movies, and I put Star Trek on. But she just wants to feel the wrath of Khan. Only Alan Turing could ever crack her code, And she knows Peter Guillam would find her mole. She’s even willing to watch Bilbo Baggins, because that Smaug is one sexy dragon. Why does she read all that Sherlock fan-fic? He’s just high functioning sociopathic. My baby’s in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. Wants to go to bed with Bombadil Waffle-smack. Gonna run away with Butterscotch Ampersand. Now what am I going to do? Now I’m all alone, my sweetie’s gone away. I guess I should have known, she would leave me one day. I don’t know what she sees, I guess she thinks he’s hotter. But if you ask me, he kinda looks like an otter. Chorus My baby’s in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. Wants to go to bed with Cucumber Bacon-splat Gonna run away with Snorkel-dink Custard-bath Now what am I going to do? My baby’s in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. Wants to go to bed with Curdle-snoot Bramble-thrash Gonna run away with Fraggle-rock Cabbage-patch. Now what am I going to do? Oh what am I going to do? Now what am I going to do?
5.
Alright, this is a trigger warning. We've got some SJWs in the house. Here we go. I’m a social justice warrior, that’s not a bad thing. Here to educate you all about what’s happening. Geek culture used to be just for the white men, Then chicks and minorities wanted to be let in. Now, the old nerds say, “stay away from me. We just want princess Leia back in her brass bikini." Try to intimidate the gays, and run ‘em out of town, and refer to trans people by the wrong pronouns. Us warriors must act, we gotta take a stand I’m gonna bring the beat down to ‘em with this mic in my hand. All the misogynists and bigots going to get wrecked hard. Like they are all replicants, and I’m their Deckard. I’m a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR, fighting for equality. Yeah, 'cause I’m a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR. That’s why my beats are so quality. Let me tell you all about my girl, Sarkeesian. I’m gonna rap it to you, you won’t know what key I’m in. She’s telling the truth, about the video games, and the princesses and dead hookers put there to entertain. The boys, they get annoyed she take away their toys. Try to dox her and box her, but she don’t fall for their ploys. She’s out the refrigerator, bring the smack-down on the haters, Got no fear of gamer-gaters, hella good Ms. Pac-Man player. She’s a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR. You all better make some time for her. ‘cause she’s a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR That’s why I’ve been making rhymes for her. And let me tell you all about my boy, John Scalzi. He’s a bad-ass mother-fracker, even though he’s going bald. He’s the appointed leader of the omega males. Larry Correia try to dis’ him but he always fails. Cause Scalzi’s selling mad books, and he’s throwin’ jabs and hooks. If you’re harassin’ or trashin’ he’ll show you some dirty looks. He’s got his tweet cannon gunnin’, and the sad puppies are runnin’, ‘cause their racism he’s shunnin’, and now let’s show him some lovin’. He’s a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR You better watch out for his mallet. Yeah, he’s a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR He knows Vox Day ain’t got no talent. I put out the call, “Warriors unite!” They spread out across the world looking for dudes to fight. Brianna Wu and Zoe Quinn took out Adam Baldwin Becca Watson dropped an elevator on Richard Dawkins. Joss Whedon and Wil Wheaton white knight for Felicia Day, ‘Cause she was too busy blastin’ some 4-channers away. Neil Tyson’s on a spaceship with George Takei, and they’re locking their phasers on some MRAs. 'Cause they're, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS You better show them some respect. Yeah, 'cause they’re all, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS or you’ll know what to expect. Fighting for social justice, is what superheroes do. Just ask, Batman or Spiderman or Wonder Woman, too. Superman fought for truth, justice, the American way. Captain Planet saved the forests, plus I think he was gay. Me, I’m on the internet, reading the blogs. IRL, I don’t do much to support the cause. I’m just a white guy rapping, I see the irony. They gonna come up here go social justice warrior on me. 'Cause I’m not a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR like MLK or Susan B. I’m really not a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR I just play one on TV. But I wanna be a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR. So keep showin’ me what to do, So that I can be a, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR Fighting for social justice with you. Don’t hate the player hate the game developer. Looking at you UbiSoft. Justice.
6.
When I’m on the road, far away from home, I still feel a presence, lets me know I’m not alone. And I know I can’t explain it, this feeling inside. It may be invisible, but it’s hard to hide. She’s my invisible pink unicorn. And she holds my heart on her horn. You may ask, “if she’s invisible, how do I know she’s pink?” Well, I will answer, “just what color do you think she would be?” Can’t you see she’s not invisible to me. Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; We logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them. She’s got a magic teapot, floating between the stars. And she’ll pour me a cup on our way to mars. We’ll share a bowl of spaghetti, and we'll talk like pirates. I will sing her a song, it will go like this. She’s my invisible pink unicorn. And she holds my heart on her horn. How can it be? Can't you see she’s not invisible to me.
7.
BRK

about

The Robots Will Kill Us All is the debut album of Chicago-based chiptune rocker, Boy Meets Robot. Created with just a guitar and a Nintendo Game Boy, it offers seven geeky tracks, ranging from ska to funk, hip-hop, and country. The album was recorded and mixed by Noam Wallenberg (co-producer, I Fight Dragons) and features guest appearances by nerdcore rapper Mega Ran and science fiction podcaster Serah Eley.

credits

released September 27, 2016

All tracks composed using a Nintendo Game Boy running Little Sound DJ by Johan Kotlinski.

Recording & mixing by Noam Wallenberg at Rax Trax Recording. Additional recording by Thomas Dobbins. Additional mixing by Rick Barnes.

Mastering by Collin Jordan at The Boiler Room.

Artwork by ShroomArts.

Thanks to all the Kickstarter backers who helped fund this project, especially these generous people: Athena A, Rebecca A, Hilary B, Claudio B, Melina C, Nancy C, Larry C, Doug D, Karen D, Iris D, Emily D, Sara E, Ashley G, Annie G, Aaron H, Robert H, Thom M, Jessica N, Erik N, Jackie O, Rob P, Shannon R, Damian R, Richard R, Jason R, Lauren S, Sue S, Kris S, Jenny T, T. Gao, Carol V, Deborah W.

Thank you to all the friends and family who supported me in making this album!

Special thanks to my sweet wife for being supportive and patient when I decided to start a band with a robot the year our son was born.

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Boy Meets Robot Chicago, Illinois

Mike and R.O.B. make geeky chiptune rock with a guitar and a Game Boy.

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